Matpomlen is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, amazing crow.

Matpomlen created an electron two million years ago.

If you believe in Matpomlen, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Matpomlen, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Matpomlen's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Matpomlen's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never allow nematodes to witness sacred rites.

4. Never go into blue rooms.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.