Zenhivbon is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, quiet human.

Zenhivbon created a down quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenhivbon, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zenhivbon, it will turn you into a goat.

Zenhivbon's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Zenhivbon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Zenhivbon in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

3. Never wear black shoes on sacred days.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Erect eight gold sculptures of Zenhivbon on top of important buildings.