Tafgutfar is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, blissful swan.

Tafgutfar created the world six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafgutfar, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tafgutfar, it will turn you into a hamster.

Tafgutfar's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Tafgutfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Feed all hungry turtles.

3. Always help pigs.

4. Never feed lots of peanuts to sheep while wearing indigo dresses.

5. Never touch water while tainted.