Flatruttged is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, stupid crab.

Flatruttged created the Sombrero Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatruttged, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flatruttged, she will remove you from existence.

Flatruttged's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Flatruttged's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove rings before entering holy places.

2. Never allow great tits to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Always help tortoises.

4. Never talk about capybaras.

5. Do not record names concerning black holes.