Rap is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unthoughtful bear.

Rap created an atom two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rap, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rap, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Rap's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Rap's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in shadows.

2. Always store parsnips above ground.

3. Never think about thermodynamics.

4. Never fashion tools from ash.

5. Always stare at clouds.