Ponhomkar is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, intelligent duck.

Ponhomkar created everything that exists six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ponhomkar, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ponhomkar, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Ponhomkar's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Ponhomkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never adorn your legs with violet markings.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Pray only in shadows.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.