Quillfetcim is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, selfish raccoon.

Quillfetcim created a bottom quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quillfetcim, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quillfetcim, it will turn you into a worm.

Quillfetcim's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Quillfetcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bread.

2. Always count to four before sleeping.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Do not take Quillfetcim's name in vain.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.