Kapfadmabhan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, vain grasshopper.

Kapfadmabhan created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapfadmabhan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kapfadmabhan, she will turn you into a mouse.

Kapfadmabhan's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Kapfadmabhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Never wear white shorts.

3. Never allow goats to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Run away from yellow bats, for they are unholy.