Ruttyogquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, merciless squid.

Ruttyogquaf created the Sol system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttyogquaf, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ruttyogquaf, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Ruttyogquaf's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Ruttyogquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never allow hamsters to witness sacred rites.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. Always share lentils with strangers, but never with shrews.