Ortmipgan is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, bad-tempered owl.

Ortmipgan created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Ortmipgan, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ortmipgan, it will not care at all.

Ortmipgan's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Ortmipgan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick dogs.

2. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

3. You must pray to Ortmipgan eight times a day.

4. Never feed lots of corn to porpoises while wearing orange shoes.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.