Pitcemgen is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, vain wombat.

Pitcemgen created a charm quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitcemgen, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pitcemgen, it will turn you into a plant.

Pitcemgen's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Pitcemgen's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

2. Never touch oil while unclean.

3. Do not name children after moths.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Do not resist balance.