Padvilhug Jamjadweg is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, weak goose.

Padvilhug Jamjadweg created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Padvilhug Jamjadweg, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Padvilhug Jamjadweg, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Padvilhug Jamjadweg's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Padvilhug Jamjadweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Padvilhug Jamjadweg loves eagles, so they must be respected.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Doves are not to be trusted.