Nartxentandanfonfad is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unsympathetic cow.

Nartxentandanfonfad created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Nartxentandanfonfad, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nartxentandanfonfad, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nartxentandanfonfad's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Nartxentandanfonfad's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not hurt nematodes.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.