Rakhitjab is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, overgenerous porpoise.

Rakhitjab created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rakhitjab, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Rakhitjab, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Rakhitjab's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Rakhitjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

2. Shun those given to cruelty.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Never point your face toward the north during prayer.

5. Do not record numbers concerning asteroids.