Tigjamtonquillcabjenbid is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, emotional wombat.

Tigjamtonquillcabjenbid created oxygen two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigjamtonquillcabjenbid, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Tigjamtonquillcabjenbid, she will turn you into a slug.

Tigjamtonquillcabjenbid's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Tigjamtonquillcabjenbid's Holy Commandments

1. Remain standing during prayer.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Tigjamtonquillcabjenbid in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never wear orange boots.

4. Never think about special relativity near grasshopers while wearing purple scarves and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your back.

5. Never wear indigo ear rings on sacred days.