Capzandib is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, slow pig.

Capzandib created the Sun nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Capzandib, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Capzandib, it will throw large rocks at you.

Capzandib's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Capzandib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Feed all hungry otters.

3. Do not keep nine tortoises in a large pit.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Do not consume corn at dawn.