Kipbumlap is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, happy hyena.

Kipbumlap created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kipbumlap, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kipbumlap, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kipbumlap's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Kipbumlap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never record secrets.

3. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Never speak of balance in the presence of children.