Hogbellsas is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, flying gnu.

Hogbellsas created the Large Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hogbellsas, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hogbellsas, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hogbellsas' most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Hogbellsas' Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

5. Never talk about fire.