Bidlanvad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, fussy scorpion.

Bidlanvad created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidlanvad, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bidlanvad, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bidlanvad's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bidlanvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near frogs while wearing magenta tights and balancing nine iron spheres on your legs.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not keep four ants in a large pit.