Cadminyak is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, slow scorpion.

Cadminyak created a bottom quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadminyak, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cadminyak, he will destroy your favourite star.

Cadminyak's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Cadminyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in holy places.

2. Never stain your chest with black.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never talk about rats.

5. Never speak at midday.