Tamdoggan is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, duplicitous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tamdoggan created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tamdoggan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tamdoggan, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tamdoggan's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Tamdoggan's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse blood with water.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Tamdoggan on top of all buildings.

3. Never speak at midnight.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Tamdoggan in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never gather six mites in one place.