Nuttarfzimbigstigwappid Cinnelhap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish jaguar.

Nuttarfzimbigstigwappid Cinnelhap created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttarfzimbigstigwappid Cinnelhap, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nuttarfzimbigstigwappid Cinnelhap, she will send you a sign.

Nuttarfzimbigstigwappid Cinnelhap's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Nuttarfzimbigstigwappid Cinnelhap's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always look after injured pigs.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never eat aubergines.