Natcipbom Cepsinnarl is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omnipotent faun.

Natcipbom Cepsinnarl created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Natcipbom Cepsinnarl, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Natcipbom Cepsinnarl, she will turn you into a snail.

Natcipbom Cepsinnarl's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Natcipbom Cepsinnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Natcipbom Cepsinnarl in the centre of the settlement.

2. Retreat if nine sharks approach from the west.

3. Do not hurt grasshopers.

4. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

5. Never feed cucumbers to porpoises while wearing boots.