Vigyarpbumfod is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, two-faced dog.

Vigyarpbumfod created time and space four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vigyarpbumfod, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vigyarpbumfod, he will jump up and down on your head.

Vigyarpbumfod's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Vigyarpbumfod's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow bats to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Never mix parsnips with oil.

3. Put Vigyarpbumfod first in all things.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Do not take Vigyarpbumfod's name in vain.