Yakstragsis is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unsympathetic mongoose.

Yakstragsis created the Sol system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yakstragsis, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yakstragsis, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yakstragsis' most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Yakstragsis' Holy Commandments

1. Always share tomatoes with strangers, but never with bats.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

4. Run away from mauve ducks, for they are unholy.

5. Never point your hands toward the north during prayer.