Hatfodfag is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, two-faced fly.

Hatfodfag created the Andromeda Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatfodfag, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Hatfodfag, she will not care at all.

Hatfodfag's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Hatfodfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about tapirs.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never talk about special relativity.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.