Yoknanstafbap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, conceited fairy.

Yoknanstafbap created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoknanstafbap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yoknanstafbap, it will destroy your favourite star.

Yoknanstafbap's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Yoknanstafbap's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain hats during rituals.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near aardvarks while wearing cyan rings.

4. Never speak at midnight.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.