Gatjamgil is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, awe-inspiring meerkat.

Gatjamgil created life nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gatjamgil, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gatjamgil, it will torture you forever.

Gatjamgil's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Gatjamgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick frogs.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

3. Never gather nine mites near wells.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never remain standing at dusk.