Bimomtruttbattunqueeglist is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unsympathetic goat.

Bimomtruttbattunqueeglist created an atom eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimomtruttbattunqueeglist, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bimomtruttbattunqueeglist, he will turn you into a duck.

Bimomtruttbattunqueeglist's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bimomtruttbattunqueeglist's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of balance in the presence of strangers.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never allow snails to witness sacred rites.

4. Do not fashion tools from nickel.

5. Never mention dolphins.