Kapdinfag Cathigwit is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, temperamental dog.

Kapdinfag Cathigwit created snails seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kapdinfag Cathigwit, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kapdinfag Cathigwit, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Kapdinfag Cathigwit's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Kapdinfag Cathigwit's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight doves approach from the east.

2. Never think about nucleic acids.

3. Erect nine nickel sculptures of Kapdinfag Cathigwit on top of important buildings.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Kapdinfag Cathigwit.

5. Never adorn your chest with black markings.