Fossjonren is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unfair warg.

Fossjonren created light eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fossjonren, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Fossjonren, he will destroy your home planet.

Fossjonren's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Fossjonren's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

3. Never chant in the presence of ducks.

4. Shun those given to vanity.

5. Never feed lots of peas to rats while wearing magenta shoes.