Gignatbem is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, egotistical weasel.

Gignatbem created the Andromeda Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gignatbem, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gignatbem, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Gignatbem's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Gignatbem's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gignatbem.

2. Do not wear shoes marked with blue.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Never paint your arms turquoise.

5. Do not laugh at forests.