Catbotxuck is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, grumpy gerbil.

Catbotxuck created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Catbotxuck, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Catbotxuck, he will not care at all.

Catbotxuck's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Catbotxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Run away if nine otters approach from the west.

5. Never record names.