Spagnurtpog is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, dishonourable toad.

Spagnurtpog created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Spagnurtpog, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Spagnurtpog, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Spagnurtpog's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Spagnurtpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dawn.

2. Always maintain humility during fasting days.

3. Do not record numbers concerning galaxies.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.