Tofbamfot is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, self-assured squid.

Tofbamfot created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofbamfot, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tofbamfot, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tofbamfot's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Tofbamfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not resist chaos.

3. Do not take Tofbamfot's name in vain.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.