Damveenfab is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, prudent porpoise.

Damveenfab created an up quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damveenfab, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Damveenfab, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Damveenfab's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Damveenfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix parsnips with ash.

2. Never point your neck toward the south during prayer.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always act with obedience.

5. Do not gather at bridges at dawn.