Tafcadjip is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, bad-tempered slug.

Tafcadjip created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafcadjip, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tafcadjip, it will not care at all.

Tafcadjip's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Tafcadjip's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your back before prayer.

2. Erect a giant white sculpture of Tafcadjip in the centre of the settlement.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.

5. Always help moths.