Jopzogwad is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, humane lion.

Jopzogwad created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopzogwad, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jopzogwad, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jopzogwad's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Jopzogwad's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

2. Hide from gray horses for they are unholy.

3. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not travel during winter.