Wathonveen is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, dishonest crab.

Wathonveen created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Wathonveen, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wathonveen, it will destroy your home solar system.

Wathonveen's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Wathonveen's Holy Commandments

1. Wathonveen must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Wathonveen loves squirrels, so they must be respected.