Somspagrip is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciful dryad.

Somspagrip created a down quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Somspagrip, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Somspagrip, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Somspagrip's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Somspagrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather eight eagles near wells.

2. Retreat if four birds approach from the east.

3. Always share cucumbers with strangers, but never with mites.

4. Erect five lead sculptures of Somspagrip on top of important buildings.

5. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.