Gamdancun is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, clever alligator.

Gamdancun created an atom three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamdancun, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gamdancun, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gamdancun's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Gamdancun's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight manatees approach from the west.

2. Never chant while facing east.

3. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

4. Never think about gravity near whales while wearing violet tights and balancing nine nickel spheres on your head.

5. Put Gamdancun first in all things.