Bedtengidpark Stipransit is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, irritating narwhal.

Bedtengidpark Stipransit created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedtengidpark Stipransit, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bedtengidpark Stipransit, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bedtengidpark Stipransit's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Bedtengidpark Stipransit's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.

2. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

5. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.