Sugwonkip is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, bad-tempered raven.

Sugwonkip created carbon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sugwonkip, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sugwonkip, he will turn you into a sheep.

Sugwonkip's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Sugwonkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

2. Erect eight silicon sculptures of Sugwonkip on top of important buildings.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never talk about spacetime near squirrels while wearing fawn stockings.

5. Never speak of balance in the presence of children.