Cebmidbog is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, awesome tortoise.

Cebmidbog created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cebmidbog, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cebmidbog, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Cebmidbog's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Cebmidbog's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not eat melons.