Nurlgilyat is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, thoughtless cow.

Nurlgilyat created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlgilyat, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nurlgilyat, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Nurlgilyat's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Nurlgilyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach crossroads carrying clay.

2. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

3. Never pray while filled with anger.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not place parsnips upon stone.