Bemfarnlab is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, unfair dryad.

Bemfarnlab created a bottom quark four years ago.

If you believe in Bemfarnlab, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bemfarnlab, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bemfarnlab's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Bemfarnlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest yellow.

2. Do not contemplate special relativity during the night.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Hide if eight snakes approach from the east.

5. Do not kill manatees.