Cebbarnjon is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless elephant.

Cebbarnjon created humanity seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cebbarnjon, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cebbarnjon, he will throw large rocks at you.

Cebbarnjon's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Cebbarnjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

2. Always wash your chest before prayer.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.