Weglinjan Hogvaghin is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, staggering butterfly.

Weglinjan Hogvaghin created a charm quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Weglinjan Hogvaghin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Weglinjan Hogvaghin, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Weglinjan Hogvaghin's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Weglinjan Hogvaghin's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear black.

2. Hide if four rats approach from the south.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Weglinjan Hogvaghin.

4. Feed all hungry tapirs.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.