Gudbafwot Nullcutqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, stupid troll.

Gudbafwot Nullcutqueeg created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudbafwot Nullcutqueeg, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gudbafwot Nullcutqueeg, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gudbafwot Nullcutqueeg's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Gudbafwot Nullcutqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bread.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gudbafwot Nullcutqueeg.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Gudbafwot Nullcutqueeg in the centre of the settlement.

5. Gudbafwot Nullcutqueeg loves cats, so they must be respected.