Cablannib is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, witty cobra.

Cablannib created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cablannib, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cablannib, it will remove you from existence.

Cablannib's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Cablannib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cablannib.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never wear indigo ear rings.